Nobody Reads This

Seriously it’s practically still night when I get out of work these days. 6:52:00 just ticked over and I told myself I was going to write something here. So I shall.

 Hmm.

I work for 8 hours, and while i’ve slaving (slacking) away, I think up good things to write about … funny puns to include and generally work my mind creatively. The moment I sit down it all disappears, that REALLY Grinds my Gears. (Blatant family guy reference intended.)

That was one of them actually, whine about the fact that a good 30-40% of all Xbox Achievements are fucking Multiplayer. I hate multiplayer for 99% of games, if I wanted to be totally out-classed i’d go play WoW as my Shaman (ooOOoo).

Gears for example, I like to think i’m pretty good at Single-player … But online. Fuck me sideways. I’m destroyed with the ruthless effeciency of a Korean Starcraft Superstar. A Man so honed in to the game, he never misclicks … His men move fluently around the battlefield, never out of place … never a mistake is made.

Except of course the guy beating me on Gears is a hooting moron redneck from South Dakota whos repeating Kindergarten for the 9th time.

What the fuck am I missing? At 100 losses does and achievement pop up and say “Congratulations! We were just fucking with you! Now you get … … … Live Ammo!”.

 Not to mention … most of the Achievements on Gears require a copious amount of time, effort AND skill … like “Score 100 kills with the Pistol” … You mean a piss-weak Gun that takes like two clips to the head to kill anyone with … 100? … This lifetime?

Heres my Solution: Break Achievements down into Multiplayer and Singleplayer, and tally them SEPERATELY; ie.
650/650 Gears of War: Singleplayer 
     0/350 Gears of War: Multiplayer.

 OR Show Tallies/%Completions for each:
Gears of War 650/100 -
100% SP 0% MP

 I also wanted to consider reviewing Bioshock … but I want one last full play through on Hard at some point, then I shall submit my two cents.

 Anyway … Live long, Prosper, get a Wife, have some Kids, go on Holiday, go out for a dinner, get your kid abducted, stfu and die. Regards,
James.