Nobody Reads This

I’m writing to criticise Pro Evolution Soccer, one of the worst football games ever made. Many of you will dismiss my criticisms as “He’s a Noob” or “You just don’t get how it works” which may be entirely true, but as a fairly competant video game player, and a Football player myself, there are some problems that need to be seen to.

 Problem #1: Friendly AI. Probably the single biggest problem, especially in the newer Pro Evos, is the Computer’s complete inability to manage your team effectively. Your Defenders end up ahead of your midfielders, your midfielders don’t make any runs … Its stupid.

Problem #2: The Referee. The temperment changes from Game to Game, but the most recent iteration is completely ridiculous. He is completely Trigger happy with his Cards, perfectly legitimate tackles get Yellows … You barge into a player, Yellow Card … Omg, he turned away when you were already comitted RED CARD.

Problem #3: Inept Strikers. This is a real kicker, you are inside the 15 Yd box, its an open goal, and you are no less than one of the best strikers in the world. You will still sky it straight over. It happens time and time again, its totally and completely fucking absurd.

Problem #4: It Cheats. And I am deadly serious about this. Example, Stoppage time – So long as the computer is in possession the whistle will almost never be blown. Example, They are losing/drawing with you, Stoppage time, they will get a free kick for pretty much nothing. Example, they virtually never get cards, considering you get one for breathing at them – Thats pathetic.

This game actually got 10/10 in OPSM2, which is absolutely fucking sad. The graphics aren’t great, the commentary is terrible, the AI cheats, the friendly AI is crap, the rosters are rubbish and incomplete.

There. I said it.

James.